My girlfriend, Abby, known colloquially as “The Babe,” asked an important and interesting question over a triangular formation of bread, tomatoes, cheese and meat recently:
“If pizza didn’t exist, what would take it’s place?”
To be more specific, when you invited six of your grade-school friends over for a sleepover, what kind of party would it be? If you didn’t feel like making dinner and just wanted to watch a movie, what kind of delivery would you order? If you had been drinking a bunch of (root) beer with your buddies and got hungry, who would you call late at night?
I think the answers are somewhat plain: It would be no kind of party, you would not order any delivery and you would call no one.
Whoever invented pizza, I think, also invented (or at least popularized), the delivery meal. I don’t think Jimmy Johns would be delivering sandwiches today if pizza places hadn’t started delivering pizzas.
Instead, you probably would make some hot dogs, make yourself a sandwich or just go into the kitchen and start melting cheese on top of things. Sometimes, you would order chinese, but people have to be in a certain mood to each chinese food, and those moods typically strike only four or five times per year*.
* I have absolutely no scientific evidence to support this.
Life wouldn’t totally suck, because you wouldn’t know any better. But, like with cell phones and the Interwebs, once you’ve got it, you can’t imagine life without it.
And, because I have nothing else to say: a list.
Best non-national pizza places in Lawrence, Kansas:
1. Papa Keno’s
2. Wheat State
3. Johnny’s Tavern
4. Pyramid Pizza
6. Pizza Shuttle