Girls+Guys=Friends: Probably not

Originally posted 9.2.2006

A girl I know told me she didn’t understand why she couldn’t seem to maintain friendships with guys. She said, at some point, the guy would want something more, she would reject him, and the friendship would basically end right there.

She was torn about this, wondering if there was something inherently unfriendly in her.

She was way over-analyzing it.

The answer, women, is this: Guys will never pursue friendships with girls. If a guy make an effort to talk to or spend time with a girl, he either has romantic feelings for her or wants to have sex with her. We are pretty satisfied with our male friends. We have to act differently around girls, and we don’t want to do that unless we’re getting something out of it.

For those reasons, girls just don’t make good friends for men. We have to eliminate a minimum of 65 percent of our conversation topics when girls are around, we can’t expell gas, we have to exhibit the most basic forms of civility. It sucks.

This is not to say we cannot have female friends. Guys will tolerate female friendships for the following reasons:

1. The girl is your buddy’s girlfriend — Often times, mixing girlfriends and bros is like mixing Al Franken and Ann Coulter, but if the girl is a relatively reasonable human being and doesn’t require constant attention, we can be friends.

2. We’re still in the interim period between meeting and, um, whatever is going to happen thereafter — The interim can usually last no longer than a couple of months, at which point the guy will have either ruined it by being too pushy or have given up for lack of positive signs.

3. You’ve known eachother forever –If you went to grade school, junior high, heck, even high school together (assuming you saw eachother almost every day during that period), friendships are acceptable, although the girl should know that the guy is probably making a move on her at some point. In this case, rejection won’t end the friendship.

4. The guy is gay — This is a whole ‘nother blog altogether.

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2 thoughts on “Girls+Guys=Friends: Probably not

  1. love that you differentiated between romantic feelings and wanting to have sex. prime example of a conversation that can’t take place with a female friend.

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