Irrefutable truths

This list will grow over time, as new truths present themselves.

  • Athletes are just like the rest of us, except they are cool, big, rich, and outrageously popular with women. Incidentally, a great number of them are not very interesting people. You figure it out.
  • People get arrested. People transfer. People get in fights. People fail classes. That’s life.
  • I don’t really care who wins, except that I generally like seeing the local teams and players succeed. It’s good for morale.
  • Race is still an issue, but it’s almost never the main issue.
  • The discussion ends here: Arthur Bryant’s.
  • 1) Biggie, 2) Tupac, 3) Jay-Z, 4) Eminem, 5) Dre , 6) Snoop
  • Women hate video games because they rob them of attention.
  • “The sports world is all about bonin’. Money and bonin’” — Gary Bedore.
  • If you can’t change a tire, what good are you, really?
  • Unless you’re studying specific skills like architecture or medicine, college is pretty much useless as an educational tool.
  • Show me an atheist and I’ll show you the angriest person in the room.
  • Feminism has made life really difficult for women. They have to be all things at all times to all people, now.
  • You can make anything taste better by adding bacon to it.
  • Your tires will last a lot longer than you think they will. A lot.
  • If you’re paying extra for the 30-point inspection, you’re just paying extra for them to check things they were going to check whether you wanted them to or not. Mechanics don’t make any money on the oil changes, they make money on the air filters and belts and tires.
  • Offensive linemen are the smartest guys on the team.

2 thoughts on “Irrefutable truths

  1. I’ll take on the 4 most important supposedly irrefutable truths on your list … for starters.

    “You can make anything taste better by adding bacon to it.”
    Except bacon… generally true but there are quite a few foods with which bacon tastes awful. I’m sure if you think about a little more you can come up with some. I prefer the statement “Bacon is cheating!”

    “If you can’t change a tire, what good are you, really?”
    I know a handicapped guy that can’t change a tire. He’s a wicked programmer, but perhaps we should just throw all of his code out… after all, even though it’s basically running 1/4 of the systems I work with, how good can it really be?

    “Race is still an issue, but it’s almost never the main issue.”
    Depends on where you live and who you associate with.

    “Show me an atheist and I’ll show you the angriest person in the room.”
    The Dude, is an atheist. Not sure if you knew that or not… probably not.

    I’m just having fun on the internet.. doo dee doo

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