Bros Icing Bros

Smirnoff Ice is an alcoholic malt beverage that tastes kind of like lemonade and is consumed primarily by high school girls who post pictures on Facebook of themselves posing with the bottles the way fishermen pose with trout.

These are the teenage girls.

This is a fisherman.

Both do it to demonstrate their awesomeness.

Because the drink has “ice” in the name, tastes like lemonade and is not, you know, beer, it has never been popular among men or among women of legal drinking age.

In an effort to remedy this, Smirnoff (appears to have) concocted a game called “Bros Icing Bros” in which, near as I can tell, one bro places a bottle of Smirnoff Ice in a place another bro is likely to find it. When the first bro finds it, he then has to drink it, which will (I guess) be hilarious (?) or something.  This is considered shameful. It is also strikingly similar to another game bros sometimes play, which involves calling each other fags for looking at each other’s penises. This game was popularized by the movie “Waiting,” in which Ryan Reynolds played Ryan Reynolds.

It should be noted that Smirnoff adamantly denies creating this game, or the Web site brosicingbros.com. There is some speculation Smirnoff had a hand in the demise of brosicingbros.com. It has been taken down because if there’s anything we should be eradicating from the Internet, it’s videos of adult men drinking sugary alcoholic beverages.

Not Safe For Work

I’m skeptical of Smirnoff’s innocence, of course, because this game, which has miraculously gained some popularity due to its sheer idiocy, has certainly spiked the market for Smirnoff Ice and, more importantly, spiked it in the elusive male demographic.

Men aren’t buying this stuff because they want to drink it. They’re buying it because they want to force someone else to drink it. This beverage is so undesirable that it is being used to humiliate.

Smirnoff Ice is a whoopi cushion.